Pride in July: Interview with Beckett Redinger

Episode transcript:

Peyton Butler: Pride month rolls around every June, and it’s a time to celebrate all people who fall anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. But why stop at the end of June? KBGA thinks we should be celebrating pride for more than just one month a year. That’s why for the rest of July, KBGA will be airing interviews with individuals who’re a part of the queer community in Missoula and what Pride has meant for them. KBGA believes in love and compassion for all and supports anyone who falls on the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

Our first interview was conducted by KBGA’s Allison Simko. She interviewed Beckett Redinger, the University of Montana’s LGBT student programming coordinator and upcoming Lambda Alliance secretary. 

Allison Simko: Um, alright. Well, my name is Allison I'm with KBGA college radio sitting down with Bekah. Do you wanna go ahead and introduce yourself first? 

Beckett Redinger: Yeah. Uh, my name is Bekah Redinger my pronouns are he, him, or they, them. I am the UM allies coordinator and LGBT student programming coordinator, as well as the upcoming years uh, Lambda Alliance secretary. 

Allison Simko: Okay. So, um, can you tell me a little bit more about where you're from and then what brought you to UM? 

Beckett Redinger: Yeah. Um, I'm from Colorado Springs, Colorado, which is smack dab in the middle of Colorado. It's a pretty big city. Um, and when I was looking at colleges, I knew I couldn't go like east or south. Um, so I had sort of this corner of the US that I was looking at and I looked at Missoula and then instantly just, you know, from the minute I was at umt.edu, I was like, okay, this has gotta be it. Um, and I visited and like the second my feet hit the ground. I was like, this is home. This is where I'm gonna be.

Allison Simko: Awesome. Um, that's how it was for me too. Like, there's just such a yeah. Great community and just such a special, just energy in Missoula. I think mm-hmm um, so are you still in school now? And what year are you? 

Beckett Redinger: Yeah, I'll be going into my fourth and final year. 

Allison Simko: Great. Um, sweet. So, um, yeah, a little bit more about your background. Um, I'm wondering what it was like growing up queer in Colorado Springs. 

Beckett Redinger: Um, Colorado Springs is a really interesting spot. So if you think about how Missoula is sort of like the blue dot in a red state, Colorado Springs has sort of a reputation for being like a red dot in a blue state. Um, very high religious presence. Um, Moderate evangelical Christianity. Um, it's sort of everywhere you go. I was really lucky that when I was figuring out my identity, who I was, I, um, sort of already knew a lot of people, very similar, a lot of other queer people, and that was high school. And so I was able to, you know, join the school's Gay Straight Alliance.

Um, Do that sort of thing. I went to queer prom that was held at a nearby high school a couple times. Um, it was definitely a struggle to reconcile. Like I grew up in the church and all of those things, um, and the very strong Christian culture in the Springs, but I also was very lucky that I had people around me who understood what I was going through.

Allison Simko: Yeah, that that is really special. I was gonna ask, um, especially growing up very religious, how you were able to, um, find support and find safe spaces and, and, and be comfortable in those safe spaces. 

Beckett Redinger: Um, it was really, really interesting. I would come out at church, um, and there would be some people who were super progressive and vary into like, you know, Christianity is for everyone.

Jesus loves everyone, um, and would be very accepting. Some people even learned to use they them pronouns, uh, for the first time for me, which was really special experience. But at the same time, there were a lot of people who were not very happy about who I was in myself being open about it, um, publicly.

And so there were moments where I'd find really close friends who were like, I'm queer too and you know, I still believe we can be a part of this. Um, and then there would be moments where I was pulled aside and pointed to all of the verses in the Bible that are translated to mean that, you know, gay people are sinners.

And the reason that AIDS exists and all sorts of terrible hateful things, um, there were like two streams of thought pouring into my 15, 16 year old brain at every. 

Allison Simko: Yeah, that's crazy. I'm so sorry that happened. And you're kind of saying this all with a, a smile on your face too. Yeah. How's that been like, looking back on it now, I'm just wondering like how you, it seems like a really hard and, and kind of dark time. I'm wondering how you relate to that now being in growing up more and being able to also give yourself the support that maybe you didn't have, then mm-hmm as well. 

Beckett Redinger: Um, biweekly therapy, um, for starters. Um, and then also, I, I think moving to Missoula was really good for me. It was the first chance I had to not go to church every week or not go to church for Easter if I didn't want to. Um, and then sort of taking that step back and. , this is one of those things where every time you say it, you feel a little silly, but TikTok has been really helpful because there's such a community. There's so many people on TikTok pointing out, um, either progressive Christianity and really loving, accepting faith or saying, Hey, I was raised the exact same way you were.

And I dealt with all of the same things and here's how I'm handling it. And sometimes it's funny and sometimes it's sad. But like just seeing someone else with my same experiences, even though I haven't found someone in real life with the exact same, um, story that I have. Has been really, really important to me.

Allison Simko: Yeah. I completely agree with that. I think something that gets brought up a lot, especially in the LGBTQ community is just the idea of representation and having, um, just the growth of social media and everything just opens. And even like before that, just movies and TV shows and literally anything that anybody can see that has queer representation is so important for, for young people to have a model of somebody they can look at and be like, Hey, they're doing okay. Yeah. 

Beckett Redinger: Yeah. 

Allison Simko: Um, so I'm wondering, the next question I have is, um, if you feel comfortable sharing your, uh, what your experience was like coming out, um, and how that's been for you.

Beckett Redinger: I mean, coming out is like the ultimate forever process. Um, I came out to my parents as a lesbian when I was in like junior year of high school.

Um, and that's not how I identify anymore. I identify as trans-masculine bisexual. Um, And so like every time I understand myself a little bit better, it feels like I have to keep coming out. Um, and so everyone in Montana knows my name Beckett. Um, but not necessarily everyone in Colorado does. Um, overall, I've been really lucky when I came out to my parents in high school that they, I mean, they kind of laughed and they were like, um, yes, look at you. Um, but they were very happy to just share that with me. And I mean, I, I brought a partner home a couple years ago. They were very open with them, very happy to see me happy. Um, and then I think one of the best things about being visibly, queer and trans on the UM campus.

Is that everyone knows my deal a little bit. Everyone's like, oh yeah, that's that's Beckett. I did an ally training with him, or I saw him at whatever event and okay, it's Beckett now. Cool. We're rolling with it. Like that's a relief. Um, and even professors are very open usually to using my pronouns. Um, understanding my perspective is going to be a little bit different than cis student, that sort of thing. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. Have you ever met any pushback from professors or in the classroom? 

Beckett Redinger: Um, I've been lucky enough not to. I know not everyone has that experience. And I think one of the reasons that I'm lucky enough now is that for the last year that I've been really open about telling people my pronouns I've been using, he, him pronouns. And for the 5 years before that I was only using they them pronouns. And so the biggest thing that you get when you use they, them pronouns is like, that's not grammatical.

Um, and so I got that a lot from other people, but never professors.

Allison Simko: Mm-hmm yeah. That's that's good. Um, I wanted to ask, so in this 

process of, I mean, we're both young people and, um, as every person should have the right to do of being able to explore your sexuality, your gender identity, um, and kind of do whatever, um, feels right with that. But then also having kind of this societal pressure to announce it every time. And, um, I've like in some other interviews, just talking about how I almost this sense that you need to make it worth it, that it has to be something that's like, I'm sitting you down every time and we're gonna talk about this and I'm gonna come out again. And maybe in a few years, I, I have to do the same thing all over again. Yeah. Um, I'm just wondering if you could speak to that process at all or what that's been like for you? 

Beckett Redinger: Um, it's definitely difficult. I think dealing with it with yourself is one of those things where you're just like, this again.

Um, cuz like I said, I identified as a lesbian for a really long time and then almost exactly a year ago I started dating a man and I was like, that doesn't make sense, but the word lesbian to me, for some people it might be different. But um, to me that was not right. So I was like, okay, well guess I'm bi.

Um, and then coming home and being like, all right, I have a boyfriend. And everyone going, what, um, and just saying, I, I can explain it to you or you can just be like, okay, you have a boyfriend. Um, I do a lot of work to find humor in it. Um, but I know that, especially with gender rather than sexuality, at least for me, it's a lot harder because.

It feels like there's a lot more weight to it sometimes where there's a transition process or not, um, uh, dealing with names or pronouns or hormones or surgeries, um, feels like people want to know a lot more about your gender than your sexuality. And so there's a lot more of a conversation about it.

Allison Simko: Yeah. That's, that's a really good point. There has to, yeah. Feeling like there has to be a bigger conversation about gender identity than sexual identity. Um, I'm wondering, how you, um, through navigating all of this, you said humor is one of the ways that you've kind of learned to, um, cope and just help support yourself with that. Is there anything else that any other ways of support that you found? 

Beckett Redinger: Um, the friendships that I found at UM, uh, a couple people in particular who are just so understanding and all of them are trans and queer as well. And so, aware of like, oh yeah. Okay. New name sounds good. What does this mean for pronouns?

What does this mean for what you wanna do with your body? And they understand that in a very individual way. Um, and then of course, because they're my friends, it's humorous too. We're joking about it, but they, they get it on sort of a deeper level. I think if that makes sense. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. Yeah. That definitely makes sense. Um, Speaking to, um, finding friendships in Missoula. My next question was, um, and you may have talked about this a little bit already, but what your experience after coming to school here at the University of Montana, what your experience has been like finding community at UM, or just in Missoula? 

Beckett Redinger: Um, I had a great experience with it. I chose instantly, well, I debated a lot about going onto the gender inclusive floor at, in the dorms and eventually decided to, um, and that was the best choice I could have ever made because I mean, the first night we were all talking and it was like, Hey, what's your name? Where are you from? What are your pronouns?

Um, and it was just so open and communicative. And I mean, the people that I there are the people I live with now. Um, and my best friends and a lot of those people that are a really big support system for me. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. That's great. Um, and then how did you come to work for Lambda? 

Beckett Redinger: Um, so it's sort of a funny coincidence. It was, um, October, 2020, so, semester after COVID hit. And I was sitting in the branch center space, um, in the UC with my partner at the time. And some of the, some of the people that we've sort of vaguely knew in that space came up to us and were like, Hey. And they were talking to my partner. Um, we sort of know you and you're queer and Lambda used to exist.

And now it doesn't everyone who used to run it graduated or took a gap year. Um, and it's really important to this school and you should head it up. And my partner was like, well, no, I'm an RA in the dorms this year and I just have too much going on. And then it took about a week for me to figure out that I could do that.

Um, and so I sat down with a couple people in the branch center and they helped me go through the ASU paperwork that I needed to get a club up and running. And, um, I sort of, not my finest moment, but was like, I'm just gonna be president, um, and enlisted a couple friends to be the other positions. And it took off from there.

Allison Simko: Yeah. That's that's really cool. I had no idea. Um, What was the, uh, was there something specific that flipped the switch in your brain? That was like, oh, I can, I can start this.

Beckett Redinger: I just like, couldn't get Lambda out of my head. Um, because I was thinking about it and I was like, oh my God. So, oh, what was it that used to be a specific queer space for.

People, uh, who wanted to do outdoors things? Evelyn Wall was the head of it. I don't remember the name of it, um, out there or something. And that had gone because Evelyn had graduated, I think, and, or moved somehow. And then I was sitting there and I was like, oh my God, that means there's no place for LGBT students who aren't on the gender inclusive floor in housing.

And, you know, that's such a limited space and so many people can't, or don't want to be there for that reason. And that's not okay, but there's no spot for us. Um, I was actually living, not in the gender inclusive floor at that point because I was dating the RA and that's not allowed. Um, so I felt very isolated and I couldn't stop thinking about how maybe everyone else felt very isolated. um, I think that was it. 

Allison Simko: Yeah, that's really cool. Um, do you know how many years of a gap there was between when you started it again and when the last seniors graduated? 

Beckett Redinger: Um, so they would've graduated that spring 2020, um, or left, right. At that at the end of that semester. Um, and then I think the paperwork all got filed in November, 2020. So it wasn't very long, but like normally in August, September, there's a giant rainbow welcome event on the oval. Um, and that didn't happen that year. And I mean, it, I think a lot of people felt its absence. um, and even in October, normally they do national coming out day. November is trans day of remembrance. Um, and all of those things, it didn't feel right being on campus without it. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. That's um, really special then that, I mean, what a, like cool, almost not coincidence, but just to be able to like pick up the momentum so fast, I think I applaud you for like, seeing the need and then serving, um, um, students in that way, because you're right.

There was like, there's such a need for it. And it was, so surprising to me that there even such a short amount of time, but that, that time existed where there wasn't Lambda mm-hmm , um, was surprising. And it also kind of reminds me of, um, this piece that I'm doing is kind of centered around pride festival this year, because it's the first time that it's happened since 2015. And from what I've heard is kind of, um, Similar to, um, the need for Lambda at UM just the Missoula community wanting pride and asking for it. And, and this drive to bring it back is really special to see. Um, so my next question, we can kind of transition to, um, pride and given that, uh, Missoula is such a locally driven and community oriented, um, place, I'm wondering how these values show up when it comes to pride for you, if they do, and just kind of what that looks like. 

Beckett Redinger: Yeah. I, I didn't get to enjoy pride very much this summer, I was really sick and I was doing my best to like keep moving, but it was rough. Um, but I got to sit down on quite a few of the planning meetings, um, that were taking place like February starting January, February. And that for me was what is going to stick in my head. I think about pride because there were all of these people who I'd met or talked to or heard of just like, because you're in Missoula and you hear of things.

So it was this giant zoom meeting with like 40 people and it's Andy Nelson from the center and Devon carpenter from, um, and, um, all, all sorts of Western cider paddle heads. Um, Just all sorts of representatives from everywhere and they're all talking about what can we do? What do we need? What kind of education do we need?

What kind of security do we need? How do we make sure we're including trans people as much as we need to. Um, and so it's really this discussion of everyone, basically everyone in Missoula, it felt like.

Wanting to make things work for each other. That that defined pride to me this year I think. 

Allison Simko: I, um, was able to sit down with both Andy and Devin earlier, and they both mentioned the, um, those planning meetings with, um, different community organizations and just the like electricity and those meetings of just all these different groups who want to have their hand in this who want to support pride and just, um, how, um, Just good and, um, supportive. That was. 

Beckett Redinger: Yeah. 

Allison Simko: Um, so, um, what was your role then in, um, for planning pride? Were you, um, I guess I'll just let you answer that question. 

Beckett Redinger: yeah. Um, I didn't do much, I don't think I said a word except to introduce myself in the planning meetings. Um, I really just wanted to, and I think Devin, um, was very aware of this and very supportive.

I really just wanted to sit down and be there and say, what's going on. And if I wanna do this in the future, what does that look like for me? Um, sort of a, I hate saying career move, but that's a little bit what it is. Um, I mean, Lambda didn't end up having a float this year or a truck or anything. We just, it was sort of a big UM cohort that walked in the parade. Um, because by the end of this past semester, I was so dead on my feet that I couldn't have done much. I wouldn't have been helpful, but just to be there and to listen was really, really important to.

Allison Simko: Did you, um, learn anything cool or have any tidbits to share from those planning meetings?

Beckett Redinger: I think the biggest takeaway for me was like absolutely random things that made so much sense. All of a sudden, um, like coordinating between, you know, Western cider or Imagination, like what events are going to be best in those different locations.

Um, and then also I think the attention to detail in pretty much every meeting, it was like, okay, Is this event as safe as it can be. Do we need extra training to make it safer? Um, are there enough sober spaces? Are there enough family friendly spaces? Are there enough, 18 plus spaces? Um, that was. I mean, it's this giant checklist that got expanded for me.

I would've thought of half those things probably. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. Well, yeah. It's so important for events like this to be as inclusive and as possible, just because a lot of. Yeah, just for youth who probably need this event more than anyone, making sure that they have a place here, that everyone has a place. Um, so I know you said that you were pretty sick, which is unfortunate for the event, the actual weekend, but did you get to attend any of the events?

Beckett Redinger: Um, yeah, I, I got to go to sort of a chaotic evening. I did Paddle Heads pride. And then I went to Gay Terror that night. Um, University was very understanding of me wanting to go dance at Gay Terror instead of go to like the pride opening party. Um, Paddle Heads pride. I was there for a couple hours with the University.

That was an awesome event just to see all of that happened, even if we were standing in the rain and then I did make it to the parade the next morning, but I think I left immediately after to go take a nap. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. Um, well, it sounds like you got some good time out of it. Yeah. Um, if you could describe, how would you describe the, um, energy and participation of the community and the crowd in those events that you were at?

Beckett Redinger: Um, I think the main thing I saw was very, it was very much like a family. Um, And it was very vibrant, um, very alive, cuz I mean the sticking, the biggest thing that I think you've probably heard about at this point is when it rained. So they couldn't start the game at the Paddle Heads night and everyone started doing just dance instead.

Um, like just so spur of the moment and together and silly, um, that.

You know, everyone was just into it. And then in the parade, it was the same thing where like I was marching and looking for people I knew and saw a lot of people who were, had talked to me maybe once, but were excited to be like, oh, Hey look, it's that guy. Um, because I mean, it felt like a big family reunion. I think. 

Allison Simko: Yeah, that sounds, um, really special. Um, so looking forward to more prides, um, is there something that you're looking forward to for the upcoming years? I know you said you want to have, um, maybe more of a role in planning it at some point?

Beckett Redinger: Um, Yeah. And going into my senior year, I have no clue what my future looks like.

If that's pride planning or community organizing or anything, I don't even know if I'll be around for Missoula pride next year. Um, cuz I'll graduate in May and it'll be in June. Um, so that's kind of a scary unknown. But obviously there will always be more prides. Um, That's sort of the, the biggest thing is just like, okay, I'm going to find somewhere, some group of people, some other family, and that's going to. Be a really big deal. 

Allison Simko: Mm-hmm. Had you been to, um, a pride event before this one? This year? 

Beckett Redinger: I'd never been to no, that's a lie. Um, I, I went to pride in Colorado Springs the summer after my junior year, summer after coming out. And then I went with Lambda. We took a truck to Big Sky parade. Um, now Montana pride, 406 Pride in Helena.

Um, and that was great. It was also extremely stressful for me. And so I'm intentionally not doing that again as a Lambda officer. Um, Because I drove this giant truck in the parade and like, felt like I was going to run over the children in front of me. It was terrible. Someone else can do it. Um, yeah. 

Allison Simko: How would you, how do you, um, those three prides compare or the two compare to Missoula this year?

Beckett Redinger: Um, here, um,

Missoula's felt much more connected. I think, um, much more of that family feeling. Cause in Colorado Springs, I felt very lost. I think. And then in Helena, I definitely felt lost because I didn't really know where I was going. It was Helen. I'm not used to it. Um,

I think that Missoula's also felt, as a celebration, more youthful in that it hasn't gone as many years in a row. Um, which to be totally honest has downsides, but it has a lot of upsides because it brought sort of that new energy to it. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. I, it seems like, um, there's so much momentum going forward that because it was such a successful event, there is this like, always something on the horizon kind of attitude.

That's really, um, cool to see. Yeah. Um, sweet. So that kind of wraps up. I have one more question. Um, but that kind of wraps up the questions I had for pride. My last question was, um, if you could give any advice to queer youth out there in Missoula who may be listening to this interview or anything that you wish that you could have told yourself as a kid, what would that be?

Beckett Redinger: I don't have really any idea. This was the hardest question that I saw in the email. um, I think. In Missoula being very aware of what's available to you. And maybe this is the advice I'd give to myself as well, because there's so much more than just a high school GSA or the singular pride event. Um, there are ways to get involved with volunteering or with other community.

Um, and I think to. Um, for me going to UM was a big risk, cuz I didn't know if I would be safe as an L G B T person. Um, but I think to take that kind of risk, not one where you're intentionally putting your safety in, um, where you're intentionally putting yourself in harm's way, but one where you're saying, okay, maybe this is somewhere I can build a community. Maybe this is somewhere where I can. Learn how to grow from a different perspective. Um, that's a really big deal to me think. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. And I think too with that question, I think it's also important to recognize that we are still young and learning and mm-hmm, like needing advice too, just as, just as much as we are like able, um, to give advice to younger people. Mm-hmm but we, I like, I definitely feel like I am also in the place of accepting advice still 

Beckett Redinger: yeah. Yeah. 

Allison Simko: Um, okay. Sweet. Well, that wraps up all of the questions that I had. I'm wondering if you have anything, um, that you wanted to say that you didn't get a chance to. Maybe if you wanna talk a little bit more about what kind of services, uh, Lambda offers or anything else you wanted to say?

Beckett Redinger: Yeah. Um, I love giving my little allies and Lambda, um, soap box. So the UM allies program is for education and advocacy on the UM campus. Um, it's in my personal opinion and I'm biased one of the best ways to just go, okay, this is what LGBT means. This is how I can quick and easy support. Um, there are usually two hour educational trainings.

Um, and then Lambda is just for. As much fun as we can pack into a school year. My philosophy when I restarted Lambda, um, reupped Lambda was that it's really sort of hard enough to be gay and trans in Montana. And so I didn't wanna add to that by making people do political work, they didn't wanna be doing or advocacy work otherwise.

Um, So Lambda is there to do rainbow welcomes and give you ice cream, um, coming out day and just not force you to come out, but ask you to talk and learn about what coming out is. Um, we're also there for queer prom, which we did in April, which was one of the best things I've ever done. And so we really want to just support students on campus with as much fun as we can. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. That's, that's really meaningful. I like what you said about recognizing that there needs to be as much fun and silliness as there is serious work mm-hmm um, is so, so important, especially when you can just get so, um, just bogged down and all of the ways that things are wrong and need to be better. Just having those little fun moments of let's just do something really fun. 

Beckett Redinger: Yeah. 

Allison Simko: Yeah. That's great. 

Peyton Butler: vThis has been KBGA’s first installment of our July Pride programming. Tune in next week for our second installment. My name’s Peyton Butler and thanks for listening.

This episode was produced and edited by Peyton Butler